I have been reading and practicing the breathing practices in an excellent book by Michael Brown called The Presence Process. This work goes deep into the heart of what drives each of us and uncovers those areas where we have been hypnotized by trauma or experience in childhood that has us reacting unconsciously to much of what happens to us in life. I am finding myself able to better catch myself in my reactions, breath into them and "wake up" to the truth of the present moment.
I just heard Michael speak here in Santa Barbara Wed night and he was funny and profound as always. He said the Kingdom (as opposed to "the Boredom") was truly at hand, no matter what your experience is. The key in fact is surrendering to the truth of your own experience and not trying to have any other experience or anyone else’s experience. This may mean facing and dealing with uncomfortable feelings. Great! In fact, these feelings are what he calls our "Daily Bread" - they are nourishing as we simply sit with them and digest and integrate them ("into great" them) into our lives.
Do not try to change them or "do anything", simply listen like a song on the radio or watch like a bird in a tree, and hold and cradle that experience like a Madonna with child. In this way, my repressed and frozen anger can be a more natural self assertion to act in the world. My unintegrated grief can become a capacity to feel deeply without getting thrown off balance. My integrated fear becomes an ability to make clear decisions in the moment.
And there is nothing we have to "DO". The awakening we seek comes from relaxing into Being and giving up the compulsion to do, do, do. Action is great but must come from the deeper place of Being. This is the key to entering the Kingdom. We must become like a child again, in the state of simple Being. And there is an internal "sun" that shines on and supports our vibrational Being as surely as the physical sun shines on our bodies. If we are open to receive it. And for this sun, there is no order of difficulty.
That is a short introduction to the work of Michael Brown. It is important to my zero to a million work as it is helping go to the heart of my current experience of Poverty and lack. I see now how I have created this experience out of an unconscious rebellion again my parents. I had been saying, in effect: "You want me to be successful and effective in the world? Well, fuck you, you abandoned me and I’ll show you by being a nobody, a screw up." All of this under the surface of consciousness, of course. So one day last month, I had this awareness doing the Presence work and cried deep tears to see it and feel it. Inside, I choose to forgive my parents for their crimes of omission and decided to say "I love you" instead of "Fuck you". This has been a profound shift I am still integrating into my day to day awareness. No longer needing to GET, I am choosing to GIVE the unconditional love that I did not receive - to myself, my parents and all others in my life. As Micheal said in his typical play on words:
Unconditional Love is for giving
Unconditional love is forgiving
And since it all comes down to relationship with God or Reality or Source or whatever you choose to call it, I am also opening to the experience of a benign and loving presence that really wants me to be happy and successful in all the ways of being fulfilled. My core gifts are not being fully expressed as long as I am struggling in survival mode. So, am moving from relating to God as at best uncaring and at worst, hostile to me, to a loving, friendly, and ultimately supportive presence that is wanting my return to Bliss and Presence.
I highly recommend you check out his website and buy his book .
This is from the intro to his site:
We are each endowed with the capacity to be responsible for the quality our experience. However, until consciously impacted with our compassionate awareness, our unintegrated fear, anger, and grief continues to function as the unconscious causal point of our outer disharmony, discomfort, disease, and delusion. By continuing to suppress and sedate our unintegrated emotional condition - and instead allowing ourselves to be emotionally carried by anyone or anything - we remain a species that is inauthentic, out of integrity, and lacking in the emotional capacity to contain an awareness of what we are or what God is for us. Only by developing our capacity to feel are we delivered beyond this predicament.
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Tags: awakening, feelings, presence process, The Kingdom
